Indeed a fool am I: Archive

Feb 24th

90 notes

Feb 24th

14,419 notes

1 tag

Feb 24th

39,573 notes

Playing With Telemarketers

 I understand how you might think this is funny but when you are a telephonist you can find this kind of insulting... For example, that part of putting the phone away for 5 minutes, maybe people at AT&T are not allowed to hang up calls... Like us at Western Union... So yeah, not funny for me, not at all...
 I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: OK, hold on.
 At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
 At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeah.
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T &T?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.
 I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: *click*

Feb 22nd

37,169 notes

Feb 21st

2,275 notes

Feb 18th

97 notes

Feb 17th

2 notes

Feb 17th

1,511 notes

Feb 17th

1,115 notes

Astronomy professor: Please explain the big bang theory.
Me: 
Astronomy professor: 
Me: 
Astronomy professor: 
Me: 
Astronomy professor: 
Me: 
Astronomy professor: 
Me: Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait... the Earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall, we built the pyramids!! Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, that all started with the big bang! HEY!

Feb 17th

43,751 notes

1 tag

I predict that this is going to be a crappy...

Feb 13th

I'm really tired of my mom telling me to lose...

And of me not being strong enough to do so.

Feb 13th

Feb 12th

2 notes

Feb 3rd

51,670 notes

Jan 13th

68,584 notes

Jan 13th

92,431 notes

Jan 12th

12,485 notes

Jan 4th

3,748 notes

Watch

aravenswings: datanonymouskid: becckss: vintage-fucks: whoknowsinthiscrazymixedupworld: I. AM. SCREAMING. I HAVE FINALLY SEEN IT OH SWEET JESUS I HAVE NO REGRETS ABOUT HAVING THIS ON MY BLOG why aren’t these kids my bestfriends. why. I FOUND IT. I FINALLY FOUND IT. MY LIFE IS FUCKING COMPLETE OMFG OMG wtf was that? :L Dear future kids, You better be as awesome as these two. I...

Jan 3rd

224,310 notes